TEACHER: Why are you late?
BALGOBIN: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
BALGOBIN: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

TEACHER: Balgobin, why are you doing your math sums on the floor?
BALGOBIN: You told me to do it without using tables!
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
TEACHER: Balgobin, how do you spell "crocodile"?
BALGOBIN: "K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
BALGOBIN: Maybe it's wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
BALGOBIN: "HIJKLMNO! "!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
BALGOBIN: Yesterday you said it's H to O!
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
TEACHER: Balgobin, go to the map and find North America.
BALGOBIN: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
CLASS: Balgobin!
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
TEACHER: Balgobin, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
BALGOBIN: Me!
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
TEACHER: Balgobin, why do you always get so dirty?
BALGOBIN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
BALGOBIN: Dad, can you write in the dark?
FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write?
BALGOBIN: Your name on this report card.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
TEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?
BALGOBIN: Don't bite any.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-**-*-*-*-
TEACHER: Balgobin, give me a sentence starting with "I".
BALGOBIN: I is...
TEACHER: No, Balgobin. Always say, "I am."
BALGOBIN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
TEACHER: "Can anybody give an example of "COINCIDENCE?"
BALGOBIN: "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time."
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
TEACHER: "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree,
but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish
him?"
BALGOBIN: "Because George still had the axe in his hand?"
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
BALGOBIN: Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
FATHER: No. Why do you ask that?
BALGOBIN: Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
TEACHER: What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots!
BALGOBIN: Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair just like that
at home.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
TEACHER: Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?
BALGOBIN: Brotherly love?
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
TEACHER: Now, Balgobin, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?
BALGOBIN: No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.
*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
TEACHER: Balgobin, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
BALGOBIN: No, teacher, it's the same dog!
-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
TEACHER: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
BALGOBIN: A teacher!

FUNNY NAMES
>> > >>>>Anne Chang (in Mandarin) - dirty
> > > >> >
> > > >> > Anne Chin (in Mandarin) - keep quiet
> > > >> >
> > > >> > Faye Chen (in cantonese) - dusty
> > > >> >
> > > >> > Carl Cheng (in Hokkien) - buttock
> > > >> >
> > > >> > Monica Cheng (in Hokkien) - touching your
> > > >>>>buttocks
> > > >> >
> > > >> > Michael Tan (in Cantonese) - selling eggs
> > > >> >
> > > >> > Lucy Liaw (in Hokkien) - you are dead
> > > >> >
> > > >> > Judy Soo (in Malay) - lost in Gamble
> > > >> >
> > > >> > Jane Tan (in Mandarin) - fried egg
> > > >> >
> > > >> > Suzie Leow (in Hokkien) - Lost till death
> > > >> >
> > > >> > Henry Tan (in Hokkien) - let you wait
> > > >> >
> > > >> > Henry Mah (in Mandarin) - hate your mum
> > > >> >
> > > >> > Corrine Tai (in Hokkien) - poor fellow
> > > >> >
> > > >> > Paul Chan (in cantonese) - bankrupt
> > > >> >
> > > >> > Nelson Tan (in Mandarin) - bird laying eggs
> > > >> >
> > > >> > Jason Tan (in Mandarin) - thief laying eggs
> > > >> >
> > > >> > Leslie Tong (in Mandarin) - rubbish bin
> > > >> >
> > > >> > Nelson Chong (in Mandarin) - worms infested bird
> > &g t; >> >
> > > >> > Carmen Tng (in Hokkien) - Leg hair long
> > > >> >
> > > >> > Connie Mah (in Cantonese) - call your mum
> > > >> >
> > > >> > Francis Yip (in Cantonese) - sweet potato leaf
> > > >> >
> > > >> > Danny See (in Hokkien) - squeeze you to death
> > > >> >
> > > >> > Rosie Teng (in Hokkien) - screw and nail
> > > >> >
> > > >> > Kenneth Tsai (in Hokkien) - like shit
> > > >> >
> > > >> > Maisy Koh (in hokkien) - never die before
> > > >> >
> > > >> >
> > > >> > hehe.. :)

THINK ABOUT IT.........................

read this and really think about it. picture everything in ur head.
u never know when something like this might happen............

It's Friday night and you are driving your car.

( what kind of car are you driving?)

(YOU ARE THE DRIVER!!!)

You can only have FOUR other people
in the car with you.

( who is in the car with you?)

As you drive, you and your friends
start chillin to some music.

( what song are you all listening to?)

So, there you are chillin to some music
with four other people

all of a sudden this crazy driver hits
you in the back!

You are flying down the road out of control.

You hit a speed bump and the car flips and lands upside-down in the

grass beside the road.

You lay there crying because
you are in so much pain

You hear nothing but silence.

silence

silence

silence.

You try to yell out to your friends,
but you are in so much pain and shock
the words won't come out.

You lay there for about 2 minutes,
but to you it seems like 60 minutes.

You finally hear something.

You hear the ambulance and you
have never felt more relieved.

You lay there, still in the car, thinkin about your

family,

friends,

School,

past holidays,

old friends,

old lovers

You start to pray for the other people in
the car and for yourself.

The paramedics get you out of the car,
put you on a stretcher, and then
into the ambulance.

you see nothing and hear nothing
but a void....you are alone

You don't get a chance to see the other
people that were in the car with you

As they drive to the hospital,
you pray and think to yourself

"Am I going to die?"

Where are my friends?

Are they okay?

What's going to happen to me.......?

Did you die or not?

What happened to your friends that
were in the car with you......?

They all died.

All of the other people in the car died.

They are all gone.

You'll never get to see them again.

As for you...

you died too.

Wait you were just imagining....right ?

But what if it were real?

What if it really happened to you?

Think about it....

That car was the LAST car you
were EVER in with your friends.

Those four people were the
LAST people you EVER saw.

Did you pick the four people in the
car with you wisely...

or do you wish that someone else
was in the car with you?

The song you were chillin to was the
LAST song you EVER heard.

Don't you wish you could have had the chance to
tell everyone you loved them?

Don't you wish you could have told your parents
you loved them one last time?

Don't you wish you could have
kissed your boy/girlfriend one last time?

Don't you wish you could have told
your crush how much you loved them?

Don't you wish you could hug your
friends one last time?

Don't you wish you had the chance
to do all of those things?

You still do.

This really didn't happen to you.

But, pray for all of the people that it DID happen to

AND remember this quote:
"Live every day to its fullest......"

and when someone says that they love you,

know the meaning of it

and mean
it when you say it too.

Artist: Linkin Park
Album: Meteora
Title: Numb
 

I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless lost under the surface
Don't know what you're expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes
(Caught in the undertone just caught in the undertone)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Caught in the undertone just caught in the undertone)

I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I've become so tired so much more aware
I've becoming this, all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

Can't you see that you're smothering me
Holding too tightly afraid to lose control
Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you
(Caught in the undertone just caught in the undertone)
Every step that I take is another mistake to you

(Caught in the undertone just caught in the undertone)
And every second I waste is more than I can take

I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I've become so tired so much more aware
I've becoming this, all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

And I know
I may end up failing too
But I know
You were just like me with someone disappointed in you

I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I've become so tired so much more aware
I've becoming this, all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

I've become so numb I can't feel you there
Is everything what you want me to be
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
Is everything what you want me to be

Mom comes to visit her son Kumar for dinner...who
lives with a girl roommate Sunita.

During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty Kumar's, roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this had only made her more curious.Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact,she started to
wonder if there was more between Kumar and his roommate than met the eye.

Reading his mom's thoughts, Kumar volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Sunita and I are just roommates."

About a week later, Sunita came to Kumar saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver jar. You don't suppose she took it, do you? "Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her, just to be sure."

So he sat down and wrote :

Dear Mother, I'm not saying that you 'did' take the jar from my house,
I'm not saying that you 'did not' take the jar.
But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.

Love,

Kumar

Several days later, Kumar received an email from his Mother which read :

 
Dear Son,
I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Sunita, and
I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Sunita.
But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the jar by now.

Love,

Mom.

Mom = Don't ever think that u can fool them ! HEHEHE

HILARY DUFF - Come Clean

Let's go back
Back to the beginning
Back to when the earth, the sun, the stars all aligned
'Cause perfect didn't feel so perfect
Trying to fit a square into a circle
Was no lie
I defy
[CHORUS:]
Let the rain fall down
And wake my dreams
Let it wash away
My sanity
'Cause I wanna feel the thunder
I wanna scream
Let the rain fall down
I'm comimg clean, I'm coming clean
I'm shedding
Shedding every color
Trying to find a pigment of truth
Beneath my skin
'Cause different
Doesn't feel so different
And going out is better
Then always staying in
Feel the wind
[CHORUS]
I'm coming clean
Let the rain fall
Let the rain fall
I'm coming clean
[CHORUS]
Let's go back
Back to the beginning

Time Never Goes Back

I received an email.. after sorting much of my email, I got this story which I think its pretty interesting...
After reading, I could relate my life with the story...Then, do self reflection after having completed reading
this article!

Once upon a time, there was a teacher and his student lying down under a big tree near a big grass area.
Then, suddenly, the student asked the teacher,

Student : Teacher, I'm confused, how can we find our soul-mate? Can you please help me?
Teacher : (Silent for few second, than he answer) Well, it's a pretty hard and easy question.
Student : (Thinking hard) Ha???
Teacher : Look on that way, there are a lot of grass there, why don't you walk there but please never walk backward, just walk straight ahead.
               On your way, try to find a beautiful grass and pick it up then give it to me. But just one.
Student : Well, ok then... wait for me... (walked straight ahead to the grass field).

A few minutes later...

Student : I'm back.
Teacher : Em, well I don't see any beautiful grass on your hand.
Student : On my journey, I found few beautiful grass, but I thought that I would find a better one, so I didn't pick it up.
              But I didn't realize that I'm at the end of the field, and I hadn't picked up any. Cause you told me not to go back, so I didn't go back.
Teacher : That's what happened in real life.

What is the message of this story?
* Grass - is people around you
* Beautiful Grass - is people that attract you
* Grass Field - is time
* In looking for your soulmate, please don't always compare and hope that there will be a better one. By doing that, you'll waste your lifetime, cause remember
 "Time Never Goes Back".
It applies the same in finding your ideal life partner, your suitable career or business,
 therefore the morale is LOVE & grab hold of the opportunity that you have now, don't waste time!

AUTHOR UNKNOWN

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart man + smart woman = romance

Smart man + dumb woman = affair

Dumb man + smart woman = marriage

Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

OFFICE ARITHMETIC

Smart boss + smart employee = profit

Smart boss + dumb employee = production

Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion

Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

  SHOPPING MATH

  A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

  A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

  GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

  A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

  A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

  A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

  A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

  HAPPINESS

  To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.

  To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to
  understand her at all.

  LONGEVITY

  Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot
  more willing to die.

  PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

  A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

  A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

  DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

  A woman has the last word in any argument.

  Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

  HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED

  Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs
  and cackling, telling me, "You're next."

  They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

  SEND THIS TO A SMART WOMAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH AND
  TO THE SMART GUYS YOU KNOW CAN HANDLE IT

AUTHOR UNKNOWN

Pls read on and advice your friends and family........ 

Incident 1:
A little boy died because surgeons found ants in his brain!
Apparently this boy had fell asleep with some sweets in his mouth
or with some sweet stuff beside him. Ants soon got to him and some
ants in fact crawled into his ear which somehow managed to go to
his brain. When he woke up, he did not realize that ants had gone
to his head. After that, he constantly complains about itchiness
around his face. His mother brought him to see a doctor but the
doctor could not figure out what was wrong with him. He took an
X-ray of the boy and to his horror, he found a group of live ants
in his skull. Since the ants are still alive, the doctor could not
erate on him cuz the ants are constantly moving about. The boy at
last died. So please be careful when leaving foodstuff beside your
bed or when eating in bed. This might attract ants. Most
importantly, NEVER eat a sweet before going to bed. You might fall
asleep and suffer same fate as the little boy. 

Incident 2:
Another similar incident happened in the hospital in Taiwan. This
man was warded in the hospital and was constantly warned by the
nurses not to leave food stuff by his bedside for there are ants
about. He did not heed their advice. Ants finally got to him. His
family members said that the man constantly complain about
headaches. He died and a post mortem or autopsy was done on him.
Doctors found a group of live ants in his head. Apparently, the
ants had been eating bits of his brain. Ughhhhhhh!!! So dear
friends, better be safe than sorry!! Never leave foodstuff beside
you when you go to sleep!!!!!